Mr Peter Allison has asked me to frame a briefly expressed alternative proposal for the future of the Returners Club. I am delighted to do so.  Although I shall not be attending the forthcoming celebration for reasons I have previously expressed I wish you all a really memorable and enjoyable  weekend. 

My proposal for the future of the Returners is:

1) The Returners should form a separate Club (at present it falls between the two stools of the college Club and a loose gathering akin to a schools "old boys"). 

2) Any member of the college Club has a right to join the Club but they have to actually join it and agree to its manifesto. 

3) It should have a new name that signifies its independant status. 

4) There should be a yearly subscription to the Club - say £50. This subscription being waived or adjusted according a members financial situation. 

5) There should be a Chairman elected by secret ballot at one of the yearly dinners. This Chairman would make it his business to ascertain if any members are in any need from the Club in terms of emotional or financial support.  If possible such aid would be given - if financial, from the Club's purse or from voluntary subscription - in any case the members would be made aware of the unfortunate members plight. If emotional - in the case of bereavement, illness, losing of job etc. - the the Club members would give whatever support is appropriate. 

6) In the case of the Chairman being informed that a member is unable to afford to come to a dinner or other Club function then the Chairman will discretely arrange that that member come to the dinner etc. at a lesser cost or that the cost be waived completely. Great care will be taken that the member in question feel no embarassment in the Club's helping him out. 

7) A most important part of the manifesto would be that the Club subscribe  to various charities that the Club deems appropriate. Such charities would be decided at one of the Club dinners. Individual cases where financial help is needed and possible will always be considered. 

8) Although this new Club would continue its links to the college Club it would not regard it as a prime function to assist financially  either the college Club or the college itself. If a member wishes the Club to give a gift etc. to the college Club or college then he may suggest this at one of the yearly meetings and a vote taken (with consideration to other suggestions for Club support). 

9) Although the Club will remain all male various functions will include partners, girlfriends, wives etc. This may take the form of an excursion, dance, dinner etc. Where a member may not have anyone to bring rather than simply not going the Chairman will arrange a partner for him. 

10) Yearly functions will include dinners in various parts of the country, house weekends, dances as well as any other events that individual memebers might suggest. 

11) All finances would be open to any members scrutiny at any time and a yearly financial newsletter would be distributed 

This is really quite brief, as suggested. However I believe it gets over the bones of how I believe the Club should go forward. A riposte I expect is that of "But who would arrange all this?".  I do not think that this will take an inordinate amount of organisation. A big hurdle is leapt when old members have to actually sign up and pay for the new club - this will cut down immensely on paperwork and mean that when something is arranged then people will turn up. If the above proposal was taken up and there were no other candidates I would be most happy to see the Club through its first year and see how things turn out. 
Again, have a great time at the 32nd celebrations!

vale 

Brendan Somers 

Mail Brendan Somers.